


This is where the road crashed into the ocean

by smaragdbird



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Present Tense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-12 23:18:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9095047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smaragdbird/pseuds/smaragdbird
Summary: Before Poe leaves for the flight academy, he wants to spent one last evening with his best friend.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this ](https://tfa-kink.dreamwidth.org/1082.html?thread=1276986#cmt1276986) prompt

It starts like this: Luke Skywalker decides to train new Jedi on Yavin 4. Maybe out of sentimentality, maybe because the moon has a long history of being inhabited by force users.

Poe Dameron grows up around war heroes and legends without thinking anything about it. To him they’re Uncle Luke and Aunt Leia and Uncle Han and Uncle Chewie.

His mother gives him his love for flying and Aunt Leia gives him her love for the Republic. 

At first he’s jealous of Aunt Leia’s son. He’s loud and useless and takes up far too much of her time. In his four year old mind he wouldn’t mind if he went away again. But then he becomes older and more interesting. They get into all sorts of trouble two boys can get into (which is a lot).

But then his mother dies and Uncle Han and Aunt Leia are needed elsewhere and they leave Ben with Uncle Luke to train him. They say Ben’s force sensitive (and that’s how he once made the tree in Poe’s backyard catch him as he fell).

It happens like this: Poe is seventeen and about to leave for the flight academy. He’s going to be the best pilot the galaxy has ever seen. Ben is fifteen and has become quieter over the past years. He talks about the Empire a lot and the dark side of the force and other things Poe couldn’t care less about. Who needs the force when you can accomplish so many things without it just like Aunt Leia did?

It happens like this: 

“Hey Broody”, Poe says as he climbs through the window of Ben’s room. “Wanna do something more fun than sit in your room?”

“Maybe I think sitting in my room is fun”, Ben snaps at him.

“Come on, I’m leaving in a week”, Poe needles him. “We could go to the lake. Get drunk.”

“Is anyone else coming?” Ben asks.

Poe shakes his head. 

“Fine”, Ben grumbles and slips into his shoes. 

Poe talks about the academy for the whole way. He’s excited and nervous and he can’t wait.

“You’ll forget me”, Ben says suddenly, still nursing his first beer when Poe’s already had three.

Poe rolls his eyes. “Of course not”, he replies and nudges Ben in the side. “You’re my best friend. You finish your training, I finish mine and we’ll be some badass jedi-pilot duo like Anakin Skywalker and Captain Rex in the stories.”

“You think?” Ben asks and there’s something in his voice Poe has never heard before. 

He smiles. “Sure.”

Ben leans in and kisses him.

Poe pushes him back as gently as he can. 

“Why not?” Ben asks, half pouting, half hurt.

“I don’t want you like this.”

“Why not?”

“You’re like my brother.”

Ben laughs without humour. “Is that why you’re leaving me? Like my parents left me?”

“I’ll be back.”

“That’s what they all say.”

Ben tries to kiss him again.

Poe pushes him away again. “I said no.”

“I don’t care.” The words feel like a slap. “You don’t get to tell me no.”

Ben pushes him backwards with more than just strength. Even at fifteen he’s taller and stronger than Poe but that’s not it. Poe has spent all his life surrounded by the Force. He can feel it even if he cannot use it. The light side feels like a strong wind current, a backwind helping him to fly. What Ben is using is not the light side. Instead it feels like a dangerous turbulence, strong but uncontrolled.

“Ben, don’t – “But he’s cut off by his throat being squeezed by invisible hands.

“You don’t get to tell me no”, Ben repeats above him. He looks more furious than Poe has ever seen him. He leans in, his lips brush Poe’s ear. “If you know what’s good for you, you won’t fight back.”

/

“You won’t tell anyone”, Ben says afterwards as he tidies his clothes.

Poe hasn’t moved since Ben let go of him. He just wants to wake up. This can’t be anything but a nightmare. He’ll wake up any second now.

“No one would believe you anyway”, Ben continues. “You are nothing compared to me.”

Poe wants to die. He’ll drown right here in the lake. He was drunk. Everyone will think it was an accident.

“I’d do it again”, Ben tells him and presses a kiss to Poe’s shoulder. “This was much more fun than just having sex.”

“Fuck you.”

“It speaks”, Ben mocks him. “And here I thought I’ve broken you.”

“I’ll tell Luke.”

Ben laughs at him. Straddles him and grabs Poe’s chin to force him to look at him. “Do you think I’m scared of him? I can do whatever I want. You could’ve made it so much easier on yourself if you hadn’t rejected me.” Ben sucks a bruise into Poe’s throat. “Want me to go again? I’ll be gentle this time.”

“Please don’t”, Poe begs, fresh tears in his eyes. Of course he has no way to stop Ben.

“You don’t get to tell me no”, he reminds Poe and chokes him. Only this time he doesn’t let up. Poe’s vision starts to grey out at the edge and as he falls unconscious he half hopes he won’t wake up.

Poe does wake up. He walks home in the early morning and doesn’t say a word about last night. If he does they won’t let him leave in a week. If they even believe him. He was drunk last night. He’s not the son of legends like Han Solo and Leia Organa. And even if they do believe him, nothing good will come from it. He cannot imagine ever looking Leia in the face again knowing that he accused her son of raping him. It’ll weaken her position in the New Republic. There are enough people already calling her a hardliner for rejecting the remnants of the Empire so completely.

“Where have you been?” His father asks half worried, half annoyed.

“Said goodbye to the lake”, Poe replies.

His father looks at him. “Not just the lake I’d say”, he says lightly. Growing up his father taught him two things about sex: use protection and make sure they want it the same things you do. 

Poe can imagine how much it would hurt his father to know that it has been him who was violated. “Ben’s going to be even more heartbroken that you’re leaving now.”

At the mention of Ben’s name the blood in his veins turns to ice. “Wasn’t Ben”, he forces himself to say.

“Probably for the best. Although at least you’d know you’d get along well with the in-laws.”

“What’s grandpa nagging you about this time?” Poe asks and his father mercifully changes the topic.

It ends like this: a year later Ben slaughters Luke’s other apprentices and vanishes without a trace. Poe feels sick to his stomach because maybe if he had told anyone what Ben had done to him, all of this could’ve been avoided.

It ends like this: Fifteen years later he’s captured by the First Order and he’s not scared. There is nothing that Kylo Ren can do to him that Ben hasn’t already done.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me [ here](http://smaragdbird.tumblr.com/) on tumblr


End file.
